The Bro Code

1) Bros before hoes - a 'hoe' is defined as any woman that is not your wife or direct family

2) A Bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his Bros are doing it

3) If a Bro gets a dog it must be at least knee height when fully grown

4) Whether a Bro is in to sports or not they pick a team and support them until their dying breath

5) A Bro shall not gaze at a naked Bro

6) A Bro never sends a birthday card to another Bro

7) A Bro is honor-bound to aid his Bros with diy and moving house

8) Bros do not share dessert

9) If a Bro leads a beer/food run they are entitled to all left over change

10) A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until they are at least thirty years old

11) Bro's don't smell each other on purpose

12) A Bro always maintains a minimum of one urinal gap between Bros

13) A Bro is never vegan

14) Bros never talk about their Bro's wife in a sexual way

15) A Bro must always accept a request to act as wingman for another bro

16) A Bro will always tell their fellow Bro if they discover the girl they like is interested in someone else

17) A Bro NEVER dates another Bro's ex

18) All Bros have an interest in some sort of weaponry

19) A Bro will not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, a Bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness

20) He who smelt it, dealt it

21) A Bro never tickles another bro

22) A Bro never wears socks with sandals

23) Bros don't make eye-contact during a devil's three-way

24) A Bro always honours a bet

25) Dibs cannot be implied, you must call dibs in front of witnesses for any said dibs to be valid

26) The mum of a Bro is always off-limits

27) Bros start at least one fire a year

28) A Bro does not choose his own nickname. A nickname, good or bad, is bestowed upon you by your fellow bros

29) When a Bro asks another Bro to look after their drink, that Bro never tampers with it. Pranks never involve another Bro's drink

30) Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin

31) Bros pay for their dates

32) A Bro is honour bound to accept all arm wrestling challenges

33) Bros do not pout for selfies

34) A Bro leaves the toilet seat up for his bros

35) A Bro shows up to a party with at least one more unit of alcohol than they plan to drink

36) When a Bro offers another Bro chewing gum, that offer is for two or more pieces

37) All Bros are required to take turns as the designated driver

38) If your team beats your Bro's team you have 24 hours to rub it in

39) A Bro shall seek no revenge if they pass out around their Bros and wake up to find their body covered in drawings and shaving foam

40) A Bro never cries

41) A Bro never gives another Bro the "silent treatment"

42) A Bro pretends to understand and enjoy cigars

43) A Bro never willingly relinquishes possession of a remote control

44) A Bro must always reciprocate a round of drinks

45) A Bro is not required to remember another Bro's birthday

46) A Bro never asks another Bro to come with them to the bathroom

47) A Bro never catches a cold. Bros are struck down with man flu

48) A Bro always takes a piss standing up

49) A Bro never uses another Bro's toothbrush

50) A Bro is not expected to notice another Bro's new haircut

51) Bros do not share a drink or popcorn at the cinema

52) A Bro always admits when they farted

53) If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret he shall take that secret to his grave

54) When the girlfriend of a Bro comes and asks where said Bro is, YOU KNOW NOTHING.

55) All Bros like steak

56) When a Bro has a kid his Bros become honorary uncles

57) A Bro never lets his brokenhearted Bro drink alone

58) Bros don't break up chick fights until a sufficient amount of clothing has been pulled off

59) A Bro is never afraid to fail

60) Bros wear their pants/trousers above their ass

61) A Bro that calls "dibs" first has dibs

62) When playing or responding to a prank, a Bro's car is off limits

63) A Bro shall not eat any culinary dish that contains penis or testicles

64) A Bro always has his Bro's back

65) If a Bro buys a new car he is required to pop the hood when showing it off to his bros

66) Bro must never leak a group chat.

67) A Bro always offers his Bros a drink when getting one for themselves