The Bro Code

1) Bros before hoes - a 'ho' is defined as any woman that is not your wife or direct family

2) A Bro is always allowed to do something stupid as long as his Bros are doing it

3) If a Bro gets a dog it must be at least knee height when fully grown

4) Whether a Bro is in to sports or not they pick a team and support them until their dying breath

5) A Bro shall not gaze at a naked Bro

6) A Bro never sends a birthday card to another Bro

7) A Bro is honor bound to aid his Bros with diy and moving house

8) Bros do not share dessert

9) If a Bro leads a beer/food run, they are entitled to all left over change

10) A Bro doesn't allow another Bro to get married until they are at least thirty years old

11) Bro's don't smell each other on purpose

12) A Bro always maintains a minimum of one urinal gap between Bros

13) A Bro is never vegan

14) Bros never talk about their Bro's wife in a sexual way

15) A Bro must always accept a request to act as wingman for another bro

16) A Bro will always tell their fellow Bro if they discover the girl they like is interested in someone else

17) A Bro NEVER dates another Bro's ex

18) If a Bro gets dumped, it is up to his fellow Bros to take him paintballing and get him drunk to forget

19) A Bro only comments on another Bros appearance if it improves his odds of getting laid

20) When the girlfriend of a Bro comes and asks where said Bro is, YOU KNOW NOTHING.

21) He who smelt it, dealt it

22) All Bros have an interest in some sort of weaponry

23) A Bro will, in a timely manner, alert his Bro to the existence of a girl fight

24) All Bros like steak

25) A Bro must do his best to find out if a Bros love interest feels the same way.

26) If you Bros girlfriend or wife tries to hook up with you, you must tell your Bro rightaway

27) A Bro never tickles another bro

28) What happens between Bros stays between bros

29) When wearing a baseball cap a Bro must position the brim at the 12 or 6 o'clock, no exceptions.

30) Do not hate on a Bro if he's trying to be friendly

31) You can only dare a Bro to something if you would do it yourself.

32) A Bro will not sleep with another Bro's sister. However, a Bro is allowed to be vocal about her level of attractiveness

33) A Bro is never afraid to fail

34) If you catch your Bro's partner cheating you immediately tell your Bro regardless of any shit-storm that may arise

35) A Bro always offers his Bros a drink when getting one for themselves

36) A Bro shall never engage in any sexual activity with a girl-bro

37) If a Bro is wearing socks, any rule involving sexual relations or implications with another Bro is thus annulled.

38) All Bros know that there are only two genders

39) A Bro shall not nut punch another Bro with the exception of severe disciplinary action

40) Bros wear their pants/trousers above their ass

41) Even in a fight to the death a Bro never punches another Bro in the groin

42) A Bro will make any and all effort to provide his Bro with a condom when they score

43) If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret, he shall take that secret to his grave and beyond if the Bro discovers there is indeed life after death.

44) Don't make fun of your Bro's dick size.

45) A Bro that calls "dibs" first has dibs

46) If a ho slaps your bro, then your fist you may show.

47) A Bro should always return a high five and never leave a Bro hanging

48) A Bro does not choose his own nickname. A nickname, good or bad, is bestowed upon you by your fellow bros

49) From the age of 6, young Bros must be taught the Bro Code. By the age of 14, they must know the code by heart and will then be held fully accountable to the code; before then any violations may be forgiven as long as they are immediately retaught the code violated.

50) When thy Bro call thee and says "What's hanging bro" thee must know that thy Bro is next to his wife

51) If Bro shall break the Bro code, thy would be punished as no longer a Bro

52) The mum of a Bro is always off-limits

53) Upon a Bros death: A Bro Shalt immediately Remove and Destroy said Bros full Internet History.

54) Dibs cannot be implied, you must call dibs in front of witnesses for any said dibs to be valid

55) Bros start at least one fire a year

56) At a Bro's funeral, all other Bros toast with the deceased's drink of choice

57) When a Bro has a kid his Bros become honorary uncles

58) A Bro is honour bound to accept all arm wrestling challenges

59) No Bro shall look upon a fellow Bro while using the urinal.

60) A fight between women must not be Broken up until a sufficient amount of clothing has been removed

61) If a Bro passes out/dies while lifting weights, another Bro must add more weight to the bar before calling 911.

62) A Bro shall always keep his word

63) If you catch your Bro cheating… no you didn’t.

64) A Bro always honours a bet

65) A Bro never applies sunscreen to another Bro

66) Thou shalt not cockblock a Bro unless it is for his own safety

67) The Bro Code is eternal, even beyond death and reincarnation.

68) A Bro never gets lost, he merely finds an alternate route.

69) A Bro will always answer another Bros question even if it is a stupid one, when it is a stupid one that Bro is allowed to make fun of said question, especially when you have already answered it.

70) At no time shall a Bro attempt to steal another's girl - This includes flirting or attempts to paint their fellow Bro as immoral or bad in the eyes of said girl.

71) If a Bro's girl is changing them for the worse, it is up to the Bros to snap him out of it.

72) When a Bro offers another Bro chewing gum, that offer is for two or more pieces

73) A Bro never lets his brokenhearted Bro drink alone

74) A Bro will never wear socks with sandals

75) When picking up chicks Bros will always backup another Bros story no matter the level of truth.

76) If a Bro fails a challenge, it's always the equipment's fault

77) A Bro must never snitch or tell on another Bro unless he has Broken the code. If so then the local Bro committee must be called upon for a trial.

78) If a Bro walks in on a Bro watching "videos" he will say nothing and leave

79) A Bro shall never intrude on another Bro's time with a girl

80) A Bro Never hits on a Bro's girlfriend or the girl a Bro likes

81) If a Bro injures themselves while lifting weights, fellow Bros will add more weights before getting help

82) A Bro always takes a piss standing up

83) If a Bro asks another Bro to keep a secret he shall take that secret to his grave

84) A Bro shall always honor the outcome of rock-paper-scissors